I was reading today about the wine fridge that went into number 10 and I’m going to be honest, there was a line that mentioned “keeping their preferred plonk at the perfect temperature” and I instantly had a craving for a cold Sauvingon.

Instead of having that though, I’m going to reflect on the last 14 days.

None of what’s happened has necessarily been as a result of me not drinking, everything was planned already, but my reflection of thankfulness and the ability to take joy from it and remind myself what a privilege it is that I get to do some things, I think, is because I’m not drinking.

• Last week – every single day from Monday-Sunday – I was making music. I sing in several choirs (www.thebachchoir.org.uk, http://www.cc21.co.uk, http://www.purcellsingers.org and a church choir), and also play Trombone in a band (www.csb.org.uk). CC21 have a concert this Saturday and with the Bach Choir I was recording a new arrangement of Verdi Requiem to be released in the coming months and Croydon Symphonic Band have a concert coming up in March. How lucky I was to be doing all this, to such a high standard, with such fantastic people, in some beautiful settings – and to be completely present throughout.
• Last week I also registered my business on Companies House, Set up my business bank account and also took a further £25k of debt to pay for it all (that bit I find very scary) – but the ground work I’m putting in now, including sobriety, will see me succeed, I’m sure of it. How lucky I am to have some wherewithal to be able to do things like this and to have a skill that I can sell.
• Yesterday I got back to CrossFit having worked hard to make a schedule that I can stick to that doesn’t include a 5.30am wake up. I get myself up at 6am now, and start work at 7am so that I can get to the gym’s 5pm class which means I can still head off to rehearsals or have a much-needed evening off if required. I also quite value that hour between 6am-7am when I’m alone downstairs – it’s peaceful and I’d rather not have that disturbed by stressing about getting to the gym no matter what the 5am gurus say.
• There’s been more laughter in the house and I’ve been less impatient
• My dog is also a lot more relaxed around me, I’ve noticed. I don’t know if that’s because I’m more calm generally, or whether I’m more content with where I can see my life going, I dunno, but I’ve definitely noticed a difference.
• I’ve been able to make a passable attempt at enthusiasm in my current job, even though I only have 5 weeks left, and the resolution I made to be more organised is working as well as it can for someone disorganised – which is heaps better than it was back in December when I was permanently sozzled/hung over. It appears I can do a decent job even when I really don’t care!

I think I’ve been guilty of seeing all of these cool things that I do sometimes as a chore before now. I know deep down that I enjoy them, but when I feel overwhelmed I sometimes think “well, why should I do this? I need a night off (to drink and self-indulge).

I’m incredibly fortunate to be where I am, with a roof over my head, getting to experience really cool things nearly every day in relative security and I’m taking active steps to keep reminding myself of this.

Anyway, bit of a rambly post but I was conscious that I hadn’t posted in a while and want to stay accountable.

Hope you’re all well x

640 Days